True story.

I am hip hop.

closed doors

Another night, and it's gonna be a hard one. Morality Right and Wrong, Perception dictates mortality. Its 12:46 and I cant sleep trying to write my soul and it's not easy especially when I'm seriously trying to improve my grammar for the politically correct. How does one bear his soul to the world but only wants one person to see it. The same way we do everything else try, if it fails try again. I wanna be there, I wanna do it, I want time to slow down. I never wanted it to end up this way. Why do we all want alternative futures but don't plot the route? I Have met a lot of people in my lifetime, I haven't always been the most popular or the smartest but there was always something about me. That special something made it easy for me to blend in to fit into circles to adjust to my environment. Somewhere along my adjusting stages I never really found myself, Instead I have a mixture of the many different "selfs" that I became to fit. So at 22 I'm trying to discover who I am and what's right and wrong to me, and its hard. I know I hit on a lot of points in this post but my mind is all over the place. so I light another cig and wish my problems away. Every cloud has its silver lining I came across a terrific song tonight, Blu Ft John Lenon- Hold on John. (but all i here is hold on Dre)

just kickin it

Ladys and Gents I present The next Cop.While keeping up to date in my sneaker community I came across something that imma put on my whislist's now two things I love sneakers and beer you cant go wrong! I present the Nike sb dunk low miller high life. Whats not to like.

Lupe Fiasco - I'm Beamin

Alright, so I have always been an avid Lupe Fiasco supporter due to his different type of music and for the most part I get most of his music but I have to say this song is throwing me off. As a foreshadowing of what is to come in his album Im forced to think that we are in trouble. I have given it a couple of listens and it does not speak to me. I dare say Lupe is doing to much with this? I mean he is an artist and this is his art form and previously I have had no qualms but I mean its a lot to get while listening to every track you have to keep in mind the motto of his Album "Love Always Shines Everytime Remember 2 Smile" so while listening to every song we also have to keep that in mind while keeping the literal definition of a laser and I guess beaming like a star It is a lot to take in just to enjoy a song. Lupe is letting his ego get the best of him after not being on the list of top 10 2009 rappers he and I quote said that his song "Fire" on his up comming album will change that for 2010. Really Lupe Since when do you care what do people think? Im losing faith in someone I enjoyed for the music but I leave you with beaming listen and give me your opinion.

Birdman - Money To Blow ft. Lil Wayne, Drake

New Boyz Ft. Ray J "Tie Me Down" OFFICIAL Music Video [HQ] Skee.TV

time to go to work

Ahh how I have missed you the words that give my life meaning. I recently went on vacation to Florida to visit family. What can be expected from any large family gathering CHAOS. Pure ungarnished in your face balls to the wall chaos. every one has their own opinion's own versions of how history went down, own grudges and personal dilemmas but yet we are all compelled by blood or maybe conscience to get together and just be. between the ages of 16- and 21 I didn't really get family or why is it necessary to get together and celebrate some arbitrary event baby-shower engagement, new job, going away party, I dare say even funeral.

now the great age of 22 is upon me and it has dawned some new perspective, some new knowledge from somewhere deep in our cerebral cortex. Family is important, not to say i didn't know family was important before but I didn't really understand what it meant. Now I think I have some small inkling. Family makes you want to be a better you, makes you want to live in a better world. Blood is not the only thing that determines family status ( not to me anyway) if you know me even a little you know I trust without reservations all my close friends ( most everyone in my previous shout-outs post) are considered family to me. at this recent family event I took a step back from my usual narcissism and pessimism and looked at what was really going on. Everyone was laughing and having a good time even with all the negativity that they once held for each other even with all the tears and angry words once professed in the worst of times. I was a little sceptic at first to go to this gathering thinking it would be the same old fake, oh how are you, how have you been, what else can i say to make this conversation any less painful for the two of us, moments.

Something happened though during my moment of reflectiveness I realized it was my perspective that clouded my vision at previous gatherings. Didn't let me see what was really going on people happy to just be near each other to share a fleeting moment with a loved one someone they in essence knew their whole lives, yeah they may have different interest and not agree with everyones life choices but some universal truth anchors us together and since we at a small age came to accept that fact. indulge no thrive in each others company in each others win's as well as each others losses. So needless to say it was a positive experience for me both because I got to reconnect with my long lost brother/friend Blaine but I came away with a deeper understanding of why we do it all.

Word to the wise, As we move along this treacherous terrain known as life, friends come and go family sticks with you through the tough times through the easy times.

just reheard a quote I always liked and thought I would share TO err is human to forgive is divine