Tradition

I'm back currently using this as a muse to finish a paper on humanity and frankenstein, ohh how the words betray me when they need to be assessed. So school is rapping up FTW!, Im sorry I was scared of you, Afraid to write, insecure that I might not still have it. So I did what I do best Stayed away, put foot to pavement and never looked back. Currently being promiscuous with restricitions offcourse, no fat chicks, girls who watch jersey shore or are just generally insecure.

lupe fiascos lasers came out and I have to admit I have'nt purchased it yet but I have all the intent to. I know I owe you a better explination for the uncalled leave of absence, And truth is I just kept finding reasons not to write not to express myself, I secretly wanna blame the weather rough winter as it was just made me generally not wanna do anything. I recently got drunk first time in forever, felt good to be intoxicated, overran with emotions and feeling, so sick of just being numb, I dont want this to be a rant about feelings god I have enough of that in frankenstein. i will make better attempts to stay in contact. food for thought, " A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure".

New Year.

Happy 2011, Its been a while but I have been doing what I do best Just blending in, I will strike out and make a mark and "succeed" but for now I'm content just being numb.

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On

sometimes you gotta make sure the sure goes on.

Misguided Youth.

I'm Sorry

I Have had a whole host of things taking up my time and nothing at all. I have missed you, You have never been far from my thoughts the words the ideas those insightful moments where it all makes sense. I wish they could stay and build a life with me, but all to often they run they leave me. Story of my life. a few things I wanted to talk about that I garner are of some importance. 1, Wikileaks Just found out about it Albeit a little complex to maneuver around the website once deciphered it is unbelievable. Everyone wants to know a secret and thats just what wikileaks does provides secrets things other people don't want us (the people) to know. 2. thanksgiving I don't think I will be forgetting this thanksgiving anytime soon. It was amazing we all sat around the table exchanging jokes enjoying each others company, Eating. My god the food. Mountains of it We had about 15 people and two turkeys mmmmmm. It's december 2nd and I can still smell the food. Thats what a memory is. Lets go out and create some to get us through the tough times and make us appreciate the good ones.

I have been out of it lately sorry to my followers and loved ones who participate in my life and hopefully I participate in your life. Looking forward to my bi-monthly ritual of going to The sisters house and watching my Rugrats. Also the people I meet on saturday who to them Im a exotic foreign car, Im from New York, where I go to school where its always the fast life and the glits and the glamour, If only they knew I want what they have to live in suburbia and not be apart of it. I guess the grass is always greener

Trust me I understand. I know what its like I felt it. You don't think so take a walk in my shoes. Feelings inside so deep you could burst a blood vessel before you hit the bottom. Words streaming through the soul belonging on print, screen or parchment. We are a generation of thinkers of bloggers of the people who want to be different but we are all looking for something.

Who has found it? not I, I search everyday under rock, chair, kitchen table, on closet floors under beds. I look and I look and I look, but to no avail. I am writing a book I just started it. The first chapter is called loss because thats the one thing all humans have in common the ability to lose. I strive to be different Just so I can fit in "lol" irionic isnt it. Thats the perfect definition for humanity irony. It's what we represented for so long for all time you can say. thoughts so advance you need a crystal ball to get it. I always wanted to be a rapper never had the talent Ill settle for a writer. portraying the same thoughts I would have in my raps if only I could rhyme I would be rich. I'll settle for my thoughts just being portrayed. 4 loko is the muse. contemplation is the enemy. love is the constant.

dry cry even tear.

I'm a mess right now. Its like you have high's and low's. At one point your soaring and you may never come down. Then just like that your below low and everything sucks and it hurts again.

I need a preeminent distraction not momentary reprieves. Im crying out for help right now anything anybody please help I could use it. its just one of those nights.

Light a cigarette after this one.

Ladies and Gents, strap in (no pun intended). Put your seat belts on put your tray table in the upright position and get ready for take off. SEX! Pure unbridled hedonistic, Animalistic, Hair pulling, biting, scratching, yelling, moaning, slow down, SPEEED UP! orgasm at the same time SEX. you both know its gonna happen you seen into the future and no longer want to live in the past. you can feel the goosebumps appear on the sides of your arms you can feel the blood rush to your heart and other unseemly parts of the body. no distractions perfect harmony nothing needs to be said but names and yells of passion. for a brief moment you rule the universe, you own the skies and the seas. Everything bows down before you. In that moment when time stands still that person makes you feel like a god or a goddess nay you make yourself feel like a god. When everything just seems to fall into place no awkward silences or moments, not even looking away. Staring into that persons soul and the gateway being her/his eyes you are naked not only baring your body but your soul your insecurities your fantasies your fallacies your triumphs. Not only sharing your body but your soul. I strive for this. I need this. I for a brief moment I am part of creation. I am creating. Every second feels like an eternity, every kiss is perfection, every action accepted. Every muscle moving in unison. I too hope one day you can share in the bliss the moment when you realize life is grand.