I should thank you, because of you i'm writing again. That in and of itself is a great accomplishment, a welcome addition that you've added to my life. Red Hot Chili Peppers Greatest hits album is currently looping and I've got a soul to squeeze. I think love and hate are seriously divided by a sharp line, a line unfortunately that runs parallel. Universally speaking I love you, I love everything about you. I also hate you, hate the way you don't want to be with me. Hate the way that you rationalize being by yourself, alone, miserable with your scar tissues and somehow that's better than fighting the good fight with me. I wish I could take the higher ground and get over you, my friends all advise me that I should give it away, my love for you. but I can't, every couple of months I come crawling back because I feel my fortunes faded. Soon though I will find the courage to never return, and I honestly long for the day to be on that Otherside. By the way, I see your post about how you can't find a man and wish you were in a relationship and they strike like daggers, daggers that I cant help but stab myself with periodically; Masochistic. I have a problem I always try to save the population, but I cant even save myself.
Alright I'm done with whatever that was. I have terrible relationships with several important people in my life. I want people to be better than they are and it fails every time. that's not okay with me. I've made a lot of mistakes and I pay for them or repay the universe in some ridiculous attempt at justice. I've been drinking way too much and I might have a problem, I think I need to go to a meeting. On another note I currently have 103 College Credits and I'm 17 away from being a college graduate. Only took me six years. Law School is next, lets see if we can get that done in three. Under the Bridge is my favorite song from Red Hot Chili Peppers, and its the first song on the album, I think they knew what they were doing.
On that note I'll leave you with a quote from Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī known to us Westerners as Rumi--
“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing
blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.”
blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.”
