WTFBBQ?

Lady's and Gent's that time is upon us. All the planets are in alignment the universe is conspiring in my favor, the time of reckoning is here. I feel the words coursing through my veins from the very tips of my toes traveling the length of my torso and though my arms to the finger tips that touch the keyboard. They are bursting Crying for sweet release. They want to be heard, read, said If their name was William Wallace they would WANT FREEDOM. Where to begin, so what I really want to discuss with no additive or preservatives is "Good" for all intensive purposes we will describe "Good" as societies accepted definition. Kissing babies and helping old ladies cross the street and all the "Good" stuff. We Never talk about the "Good" in our life unless its to brag.

I think that is wrong, we should start talking about the "Good" more often and not in a bragging fashion. Lady's and Gentlemen of the jury I give you exhibit A- The Media, 85% of what we see on CNN, MSNBC, BBC, ALJEEZERA, (notice I left out Fox News chances are if you watch Fox News for content and not comical relief your already in a world of trouble) is "bad" fires,deaths,murder,assassinations,oil spills, Celebrity trials, Rapes, Violence. The worst humanity has to offer is on constant display portrayed for its wow factor and cheap ratings. About 5 minutes before the show is over you will see a firefighter pull a cat from a tree or some nominal act so they have a scapegoat when the realist point out the bullshit that is modern day media.

What I will try to do In my day to day life is focus more on the good I do then the bad thats around me. Focus on the babies I kiss, the old ladies I help cross the street and the cats I pull out of trees. I Came across an interesting quote while writing this 20 hour blog (started at about 9 P.M. and gonna post it around 6 in the morning) The original quote I was thinking of and researching originally said it was "When you try, You plan to fail" , It didn't sound quite right to me and I had to find something better to share so I continued researching and came across "Try and Fail, but don't Fail to try" and that made a world of sense. Its this Macho Alpha Type-A personality thats wrong with the world of course you want to succeed but a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step (if that reference makes any sense to the current situation) You need to try and fail and try and fail and try and get it right.

Excuse my frantic rantings but I needed my "Fix" and it was no were to be found. Currently Stranded In Florida and like Iraq I see no exit strategy in the near Future.

Pen to Computer Screen.

I Just need to write. I started this blog because I wanted you the to know how I felt a small part of me wanted you to feel sorry wanted you to know my anguish and my human condition . Now its grown, taken on a mind of its own I guess like we all do. We start out with ulterior motives and end up with good ones but are chastised for our original intentions. So yea I started with malice and hate in my heart but now I have love and good will. I wanna write to express emotions to make sense of a senseless world. For you to read a situation I went through and have ammo in your arsenal for when you go through it. I wanna write to make you smile for you to take heart in my usage of the english language. I want to write so you can understand my perspective see the world through my eyes for a fleeting moment. I want to write so a year from now when I look back at a post I say "oh yeah, Wow I was a douche-bag did I really believe that crap?" to see how I have grown and matured as a person since the change is so gradual you do not notice it, I will have a marker. I want to write to inspire others to find a calling and follow it like twitter. I want to write to be that shining light in someone's dark day even its only because they say man I thought I had it bad but that dude bean is Fucked. I wanna write because you need to read even if its just 1 person or if its multitudes. There are days I take showers and I strategize while in the shower about what my next post is gonna be about and did I write about that subject already or kinda maybe touched base on it in another post? I wanna write because it has become my passion the driving force in a fleet of hobbies. Sometimes I enjoy the feedback and the introspection and retrospection but sometimes I just want an acknowledgment that you read, it that you lived through it and care less what you have to say. I write because....

I lost One.

Honestly at 23, I would probally love my work more then I did she,

The time is now for her, in time she'll mature and maybe we can be we like we were.

Laundry Basket.

It has been at least a week meaning its safe to post again. Like I said before I don't like posting to often I feel like it makes them invalid. We need a little mystery in our lives a little excitement I hate to quote the scriptures but its a book like any other "Patience is a virtue" and I'm well worth the wait. Currently in florida and feeling kinda down not any one thing but just a general feeling. Dirty laundry we all have it every day we acquire more, sometimes we loose some and it never gets cleaned. We even go as far as to let other people clean our dirty laundry, Trusted individuals though like a mom or a grandmother or a sister/brother. Some of us never want another human soul to see our laundry so we stuff it in closest or push them under beds and smile like the laundry is in the draws where they belong. Some of us could care less we bear it like a badge of honor letting everyone see the mud-stains and the blood and the life that we acquired that we lived through (myself being one of these individuals). Some of us go to great lengths to clean the laundry or generally get rid of it, Hand washing Laundromat dry cleaners I dare say back yard bonfire. The point is how we deal with it tells us a great deal about that individual. So stop and ask how do you deal with it?

I wanted to post something for a few days but nothing quite spoke to me I guess I needed my entourage fix to put life back into perspective (the show was postponed due to July 4th). Had a recent family event where Like always I played the bigger man. Thats the story of my life always taking the high road. Being the bigger individual for the sake of someone else's ego. I pointed something out to my grandmother the other day because we are kindred spirits, I said Grandma at what point do we stop shutting up and apologizing when do we take a stand and what she said was real but disheartening: "Never, Because once you start letting stuff get to you, your blood pressure rises all types of bad things start happening and you die". Granted it makes a whole heap of sense, but it sucks to know I will always be stepped on my entire life because I have a passive personality. To make matters even worse while typing stepped on I said to myself I don't care if people step on me its just ego and I'm secure with who I am (or at Least what I figured out so far no pork, plenty of white wine, deep love of women, and Bill Mahr) Ehhh (thanks K for the great conversational starters) I say don't let the little things bother you, or the big things for that matter lets all just try to stay alive. So I say to my Trekkies and everyone else "live long and Prosper".

My country, 'tis of thee, Sweet Land of Liberty.

July 4th, and I'm In C.T. visiting the sister unit and her family. I like to think of myself as a patriot a pridefull american, also a man of honor. While watching the fireworks I had a moment albee a bit corny, I placed my hand over my heart and recited the words to our countrys "anthem" And the rockets red glare and bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was stilllll there. I tingled in my toes and fingertips was in the pre-cry mode where your throat swells up and your eyes water but no actual tears come out. Why? because I stood and reflected and I thought about what my fellow country men years, and years, and years ago had to endure for me to enjoy this moment in a free country. I want to think I really understood the depth of their sacrifice and ask myself if I would have been courages enough to follow suit. Would I have Left my farm and family to fight for equality and my peace of the pie, I hate to get racial but Im black its a fact of life. At that time period would I have been able to fight side by side with my fellow citizens I honestly do not know. I take no offense to the notion that I might have not been able to because I know it would have not been done out of malice but of ignorance. As I get older I start to appreciate the Finer things in life and freedom is top of the list (that and white wine) So I say thank you to the men who stood before me So I can stand now. Hopefully one day I will make an inpact and some guy 234 years from now will write about me and thank me for allowing him to do what I hopefully graciously did today.

The Plot Thickens

I promised Her I would write something, Last night was Amazing I wish you were there. you would have met so many different people, Enjoyed amazing conversation's, I dare say even Learn. Currently listening to Drake something about light skin black men hits the spot, no homo (I wonder If its because I am one). I met the : Im Single, Its complicated, In a relationship, I dont smoke, Just socially, me I'm always high, Im to cool for school, Merit scholars, C students, The Tree huggers, The Carnivors, The Vegans, The Thats so last week, The people who never left the 80's, The "Republicans", The Fox is the worst thing for news since watergate, the Gays, The straights, The im not sure if I am a man or woman, the lawyers, the doctors, the garabage men, the tatoo artist. the single mom, the dead beat dad, the couple we all know will make it till there old and grey and the guy who is just like me, In short I Met the new yorker. Im happy that I Inspire other people to write and not like im happy my belly is full or im happy I just had an orgasm, But Im happy that im changing someones life. your in south carolina im on my way to florida I live in new york you live in jersey. Every Time I turn my computer on im excited crossing my fingers that your on. I know im not supposed to but Im falling in "like". your witt betrays you some times but I dont point it out. My grammar and spelling is atrocious but yet you always know what I mean, They say great minds think alike and you are starting to make me believe in general statements. I like long train rides with nothing but me and a book. I hate talking but im so good at it. I had an amazing night and I hope you did too.