Smile with your Heart

The world will notice. It will see, and smile with you. Hello my loyal fans all 3 of you. Its been a week so its safe to say I have gotten myself into some adventures and met some characters. On the bumpy, wide, worn down road of the world I've traveled only 22 and my feet HURT. I have shared some laughs and some hurts some misgivings and misunderstandings and its show me the follies of my ways. You still have to smile with your heart. Embrace your culture and the culture of the world. I came across this theory of interconnectedness, that we are all connected that the smallest movement of the smallest thing affects magnitudes of the world. An Its not that hard to believe. I have come into myself. Defined who I want to be (shout outs to college for that). It was not easy It took a lot of trial and error, So if any pics of me in all black and eyeliner surface I apologize ahead of time. It boggles the mind to think of all the butterflies and small insignificant things that made me who I am, All the missed trains that allowed me to meet all the wonderful people I currently know. the couple of extra times I hit snooze on my blackberry when it was telling me it was GO time. The wonderful sun is out in N.Y.C., Its warmth is engulfing, and inspiring forcing us city critters to flee our habitats in search of food, companionship and growth.
Realistically Speaking I said a whole lot of nothing and nothing on a whole lot. but the words flow out of me like a conduit, of the human condition. I am the spokesperson for the few that get it, and realize how hard it was to grasp. the little things make me happy, and the big things I don't trust. I have had my difficulties and so will you, but you will bounce back. Summer is on the horizon, one day at a time it's creeping and unlike previous summers I'll know im enjoying myself.

slow down.

Our Generation the Millenniums, we are a connected generation, phone constantly in our hands, ipods in our ears, updating facebook or twitter. So connected we have become disconnected. So busy with whats online we don't see whats in front of us. We are producing a Generation of socially awkward individuals who know only how to communicate to people through the medium of social networking sites. What ever happened to parks and parties? Have you been to a party lately when you get there everyone is on their phone talking, calling everyone else asking where they at or complaining about this party or formulating plans to do after the party. stop and take a look around its disheartening the only reason I notice it is because I am on the cusp of Generation X and The Millenniums, I'm stuck in both worlds I find myself doing what I hate and I literally shake my head in disappointment. Where did this need to be constantly plugged in come from? why must we be so available all the time, would the world cease to exist if we didnt respond to a text, IM, Tweet, status update, picture comment, email?

I feel naked when I leave my phone at home I literally cut my day short, without my blackberry. Since I hate when people point out the problems without providing a solution I will further examine it and maybe propose something. Our phones/ Ipods have become an extension of ourselves they define and protect us. are you an Iphone person or a blackberry or a droid? they shield us, from unwanted social interaction but shouldn't shield us from all interaction, that is what they are slowly doing. I propose a national no phone day. 1 day a year where everyone either turns off their phone or leave it at home. The counter argument is what about emergencies, people with children? My counter-argument cellphones didn't always exist somehow people manage whole lives without them. I have been cutting my post short for the simple fact that I know people become discouraged when they see a wall of text, and would prefer they read something rather then nothing at all. Semester is almost over 2 large papers and one panthlet is due, grind time, To all my lovers, haters, no opinions, " Its like the world is in my hands now Im feeling so rebellious. "

Smart Persons.

If You notice I said persons. "Smart" is not a universal trait its not even a common trait. first and foremost this is a rant, a pathetic attempt to, A. get people to first reevaluate, second change, and third demonstrate. as impossible as this task may be I understand something that a lot of us "smart" people don't, we just cast off the "not smart" people and don't attempt to fix the problem don't get me wrong fellow "smart" people I am just as frustrated I have had those moments where you just want to take someones head and slam them into a wall, where they offend you because of their insecurities, where they counterattack rather then self-evaluate, where constructive critiscm is myth. You would rather let misinformation and ignorance run rampid then attack it head on. "smart" people thats almost as bad as being "not smart" we have to fight the problem we have to use patience and understanding, we have to relate and elevate (didnt just rhyme on purpose I swear) challenge false prophecies using knowledge and calm words.

If we continue with the status quo, if we just nod our heads and agree for the sake of not offending, don't point out the ironies and illogical unreasonable decisions and statements. then we are at a lose of humanity. we owe it to them as much as we owe it to ourselves. for what are we if not a reflection of our actions? we have to share the planet so if you share some understanding and knowledge that someone else doesn't. hoarding it and keeping it for yourself does everyone a disservice because we all think different, come from different backgrounds have different processes of evaluation and might offer some missing link, some puzzle piece I might have missed. This is call to action, for all the people who have had conversations with persons, and just wanted to shoot themselves. stop and respectfully challenge them to reevaluate, to change, and demonstrate. push it forward esk, not just 1 good thing as much good as time allows.

(ps there is more I wanted to say but laziness currently won the battle for my time, but have hope the war isnt over yet, so step 1 reevaluate )

Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Life Is going well, Im reading more then ever, I have successfully expanded my vocabulary, they got Osama, I have no complaints. I wanted to talk about social activities and the importance of them as well As how much I love this blog, even though I don't post a lot its only because I feel too many post invalidate the ones already post. I have been participating in many social activities recently, a spoken word poetry jam, a play rendition of Reservoir Dogs, and tomorrow I will be attending a choir. I love social interaction and Im just upset that more of my student body isn't coming out to these FREE activities at my school. Its frustrating because I want everyone to take away from the show a sense of togetherness. Semesters coming to an end and melancholy is a perfect definition of how im feeling. This was the first one where I bloomed. I met people, went to events interacted. Yes I learned but it was so much more then academic learning it was a worldly lesson. One full different walks of life being removed from the shadows and dancing, basking in the light. I met a figure skater who is the female equivalent of me, the underground rapper who shares the same name, the ditsy blonde who wants to do better but doesn't know how. its safe to say I met my fare share of misfits and frustrated youth.

WE are out there, be afraid america, be very afraid. I quote a lot of people and eminem shouldnt be underestimated due to his sometime comical, dark spin on things.

" And there's a million of us just like me

who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me"

Yes we are out there with a slight twist, we care we really do "give a fuck", we are watching and acting and participating. Im still loveless, I still have those fleeting moments of solidarity, of loneness and when I attempt to reach out and connect with a significant other it just doesn't feel right. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror earlier and I was taken a back, I looked at myself and kinda asked myself whats the point of it all? I was not able to sufficiently answer the question, but I was able to placate myself by repeating "I'm just living for the moment. "