Emotion will be the death of me. I cant do it anymore, It's so hard being young, I don't imagine any stage of life is easy but this one seems especially hard. *Correction being young with a conscious is difficult. I'm trying devilishly hard to balance a social life, family life, a productive future, expectations I have for myself and that my family have for me, build meaningful relationships, not to mention these outrages lonely nights. I need sex end of story its been way to long. and not just regular sex, meaningful sex. Where we can laugh with each other afterwords. I'm sick of the fronting. the delicate balance of being someones friend and not getting what I want. I find depravity a lacking companion. My sole adjudicator are novels they give me a moral guideline to living. drunk nights roaming new york are getting old. they are loosing their lackluster all that glitter isn't gold. you truly get what you pay for. It takes all the will power I have to not reach out. I have went on a spree of telling the truth and it hurts. hope is in of itself an evil thing. It allows you to sustain unbearable conditions for expectations of relief of compensation for past wrongs. You tell yourself It's okay, good karma will find you repay you for the countless tears your shoulder has been there for. It will reward you with a shoulder that will walk side by side with yours, and if you have an untimely demise karma your karma will transfer to another deserving soul. hey what else do I have, Accept that life inst grand, that no matter how hard you try, Pandora's box is just filled with to many evils?
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