Dry cry, even tear.

    I have tried to remain impartial during the Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman Trial, but I have failed and can no longer remain apathetic. All of this emotion is welling up inside of me and is looking for an orifice to explode out of. I chose you, the words that give my life meaning as a medium to deliver some of my grief and anger. We live on different parallels and very likely a different multiverse. I theoretically understand the application and practicality of the rule of law. The importance that the  rule of order delivers as well as benefits of behavior modification that law provides to the masses. But I want to throw all of that learned reasoning out of the window in this case simply because I look like Trayvon. I want to abandon all levels of logic and reason for emotion, which goes most aversely against everything I stand for. I am a young black man, and I have gone during half time of a football or a basketball game to get some beers at a local deli;  I could have been Trayvon. That fact, mixed with a lifetime of being told I am innately inferior  by indirect measures of economic selection has sent me over the edge. The realization that I have taken my whole life for granted, that blind luck has simply saved me from being shot through the heart for being born the way I am has finally demolished my resolve.
    I have read Roxannes Article about what is really on trial and Its not just the "stand your ground" laws but the grandiose notion of the validity of the contemporary black man, that is what is on trial. I am being weighed and measured in that jury room, the acceptance of irrational fear and stereotypes is on trial. Is the human justified in believing the narrative that has been presented to him with or without cognizant acceptance. Are we responsible for our conditioning? This is a troubling time for me, a lot of self image idea's are being confronted and barriers I have constructed to protect me from notions of racism I was not ready to admit have been sieged. Yes I am extrapolating a wide range from small parameters, but its past time that we confronted these issues.
  I am not a juror, I study the law and its practicality and also its shortcomings I have seen when it has failed humanity, and when it has triumphed in the service of some greater good. I am grateful that I do not have to be one of those six jurors with the full weight of a nation on their shoulders. I am torn between the concept of jurisprudence and being a dutiful citizen and looking down at my fingers while typing these words  and seeing brown hands, hands that have been placed outside windows when pulled over by police officers just to exemplify cooperation and ensure survival. I walk a tight rope of understanding and aggression   This mockery of justice has tilted the
bar in favor of ignorance. Violence Begets Violence, I believe that but one has to ask when is enough, enough?

A second article worth reading. Op-ed NYT