highs and lows

You could call me a lier if I said I didn't dream of one day being a great writer. Then I think did the great writers of our time once say to them selfs hey I am going to be a great writer one day". Do you think Charles Dickinson ever for-saw his greatness? Did Jane Austin think she would be taught in english classes, and lets not even get into Shakespeare. So I doubt one day my literary works will be repeated and taught but does not stop me from dreaming. Self reliance is important and a key factor in our development as humans, being able to count on yourself. Knowing in your heart that at the end of your road only person you have to blame for your life is yourself (not only blame congratulate as well). Yet we go to great lengths to impress others why? I think about some decisions I have made in my life and why I made them. Why I took the chances I took. I have found the best place to do some thinking is the shower (my shower actually). The reason my shower is so thought worthy is because the water comes straight down not from an angle so its like all your problems are being washed away from above, divine actually. Now back to the chance thing. I never fell in love I jumped sorta like suicide now looking back, But would I jump again (in a heartbeat). We want others to accept us and we take a chance by putting ourselves out there why because we know the peril we know the crushing feeling of rejection we actually thrive in that moment when we take the chance as if the outcome did not matter only the fact that we took a chance, because yeah its great to be loved, accepted, wanted and needed but its also important to take the chance. What if we never got turned down and we never got rejected how sweet would that acceptance be I say? I avoid confrontation at all cost only to ultimately find out that confrontation always has a way of finding me. its like that sunday when your home and your looking for the batteries for the remote and you cant find them so you go out and buy new batteries and then monday you are going about your business looking for your keys and while rummaging you come across the batteries and don't even notice them. How weird it is that we all have shared that moment from china to brazil. So in conclusion ( I took it way back to the 6th grade with that one) I aspire to be a great writer because I can fail.